Love me not.

 


Love is a drama of contradiction, of maybes and maybe nots. Of light and dark and brighter colours, of dull grey springs and joyful winters. Love to me, is about respect, about trust and learning to forget. About righting the wrongs and following your gut, love is everything and nothing but, we must not take it for granted, or make it supreme. Love cannot be given the highest priority, dreams and ambitions are just as important, love is about understanding balance, and care. 
To love me is not easy, I love easily enough. I love the way the sun rises, I love the morning breeze, the way the chirping sparrows wake me up everyday, the way children learn to say please. I love coffee,  the smell of new books, and having something to do. I love my family, I love my friends and I trust them with all my heart, love, to love me is not easy, but I love easily enough. 
To love me is not easy, I come with many flaws. I’m impossibly childish sometimes, and extremely stubborn too. I space out when I’m thinking and have no sense of time. I do not like being distrusted, but I forget things all the time. I’m insecure and often don’t reach out, I try to fix things and people when I’m the one who needs to talk. I often avoid doing things I love, afraid to do them wrong, or stop loving them, instead I’ll just lay in bed and blame myself for being bored. 
To love me is not easy, I love easily enough. I love watching Disney movies, I love the way my friends’ eyes light up when they’re happy. I love making beautiful things, cooking for people and sharing meaningful stories. I love writing, and playing my guitar.  I love playing with little children and exploring their world with them. To love me is not easy, but I love easily enough. 
I talk to plants, and animals, and ask for permission before I pet anyone. I daydream about thriller plotlines, fantastic murders and am sadistic too sometimes. I love listening to hard metal music, but Sufi is my favorite too. I’d be down for Maggi, momos or ice cream anytime. 
Love is a drama of contradiction, of long distances, of miss yous and we’ll meet agains. Of no matter how much it hurts, you know it’s worth it and I say this with conviction because to love me is not easy, but I love easily enough.