I like to sleep, sleep can cure anything. It can take you from broken pieces, from shreds of meat, to vaguely resembling a whole human again. It can suffocate the dark thoughts for just some time and it can kill you, temporarily. Sleep is a little bit like death, and most of the time, little deaths are exactly what I need. Especially in the middle of the day, when life becomes too hard to lead.
Just let me go to sleep. Maybe I’ll wake up, maybe I won’t. All is okay, either way. I’m not depressed, just tired. I need a temporary death, for just a little while. I need to get away from me, from my life, from my body and my mind. I need a little trip away from everything, from the voices in my head, from things I’m supposed to do, and people I’m supposed to be. I need a little break, from being me.
So don’t wake me up, please. I really don’t want to go outside, I’m not ready just yet. Give me five more minutes of death, just a little bit more rest. Let me stay here, among the blankets and cover myself like a corpse . Let me just hide here, in my wooden box, for as long as I can. Don’t get me wrong, living is fun, the days are sunny, the grass is green everything is like a fever dream. But every so often I’m just done with living, and all it’s fun. And when that happens, all I want is to die, for just a little while, till I’m supposed to live, again.
